LYRICS
I am the very model of a modern Major-imbecile,,
I've information confidential, speculative, and trivial,
I know the czars of Russia, and I tweet my thoughts maniacal,
From tapping phones to "no one knew", in order unaccountable;
I'm very well acquainted too with matters dictatorial,
I understand injunctions, both the pending and enforceable,
About the failing media I'm steaming with a lot o' news---
With alternative facts about the so-called torture of the Jews.
I'm very good at infantile and detrimental craziness
I know the systematic games of rabble rousing looniness
In short, in matters unremorseful, amoral and mythical
I am the very model of a modern Major-imbecile.
I know revisionist history, Civil War's and certificates
I question U.S. servants, I've a pretty taste for Bolsheviks
I quote enthusiastic all the crimes of Hillary screwing us
In chronic I can shore peculiarities cantankerous
I can tell undoubted real intels from liberal cows and bad Chinese
I know the stroking chorus from the cogs of white theocracies
Then I can frame a fugitive I heard has used this phone before
And marshal all the heirs for that internal family favor store
Then I will start white washing bills while babbling on Twitter more
And tell you every detail of fake news's most vindictive scorn
In short, in matters unremorseful, amoral and mythical
I am the very model of a modern Major-imbecile.
In fact when I know that agents, try sullying my epic win
When I can tell my plight is stupid piffle not a damning sin
When such affairs as pussies and franchises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what the failing media's playing at
When I have learnt what progress has been made in what is asked of me
When I know more of basics holding office in democracy
In short when I've a smattering of elemental policy
You'll say a greater Major-Imbecile has never bested me
For my military knowledge though I'm jumpy and compulsory
Has only been thought sound to those who don't see my deficiencies
But still, in matters unremorseful, amoral and mythical
I am the very model of a modern Major-Imbecile.